Experiences of parents and carers of young trans and gender diverse people

So, from my perspective how to explain is, if the person is going through puberty, it slows down aspects of the puberty, so if you were born male you would not grow facial hair and they would like, if you were born male for you to be at the early stages of puberty and so your penis isn’t like a child’s penis and starting to become like an adult penis. So, it’s essentially longer, so they can make a vagina from it. If you are a woman, you, if you were born female rather and you wanted to be male, then, it would stop things like, slow-down the process of having periods or stop having periods. They have spoken mainly to us about if you were born male and were reassigning to female. They said that you can stop blockers at any time and it’s likely that you will go through puberty at that stage. Some people don’t grow as tall as they may have if they hadn’t been on the blockers. And they don’t know much more that they can say as a fact rather than in theory or what would be likely to be the case. Certainly, my daughter is very keen to avoid any facial hair; that is her main concern. You’re less likely to have a visible Adam’s apple if you have the blockers and I think that’s quite consistent.

I'm introducing ideas as well about what's gonna happen when we go to the appointments and that will be discussed about, I say, how do you feel about puberty. Cause she's seen her older sister go through puberty. She's aware that it's happening and she sometimes she doesn't really ask a lot of questions. If I try and initiate discussion or she's quite open about talking about it with me. And she just, with the puberty blockers I think she understands what it means. She knows that it gives her some time to think about what she wants for the future. And I think that's appealing, as far as I can tell that that's appealing to her at the moment, yeah. So definitely, she doesn't, she definitely doesn’t want to develop the male things that she sees you know, like her dad, you know, hairy and you know, beard and all that stuff, she definitely doesn't want any of that.

He asked me what they were because I don't think his friend knew exactly because he's also quite young. He, they just knew that they could get them young and it was something that, that they needed in order to not develop. He just didn't know exactly. Does that make sense? So, he asked me what they were and he looked, he was quite upset at the time about it and asked if he could go on them and I said, well, right now, there isn't any point, because there's nothing to block, cause there wasn't. And essentially, at the moment there still isn't. So I, but I did say that that was kind of part of the reason we went to [Gender identity Development Services] so early was so that that could happen if he needed it.

In referral in regards to the hormone blockers, with his therapist, we, as a family with his social worker had many, many, many conversations about hormone blockers. The process. What it involves. What it could lead to. Even the fact, you know, having an injection monthly is a major thing for a 11 year old to start. I think maybe three or four months after we started the conversation he was referred to the endocrinology at the [name of hospital] in [name of city]. That was maybe six to eight weeks. From being referred to getting the appointment. We saw one of the lead clinicians at the [name of hospital]. Had blood tests done. Had bone density scans done. It all seemed to go pretty smoothly. Once we'd got to the [name of hospital] it was like not much questions, not many questions. Not much assessing. Not much, not much anything really. It was just a case of, right, you've been referred for blockers, that's what you're here for. Here you go. You know, so that was kinda, I didn't expect that. I expected that to be a bit more, this is our realm, let's delve a little deeper and let's take it a little bit slower.

We were under [Gender Identity Development Service] and my daughter was very keen to go on puberty blockers and how long was it she--Yeah, she was fifteen and when she was going and she was really desperate. The anxiety about everything developing and, and her voice hadn't broken when we went, initially. But obviously it has, it did [sighs]. She was very frustrated, because she wanted that space and time just marched on.

I wish it'd move a bit quicker, but you know, you know yeah. I also did feel that my daughter was desperate to go on puberty blockers, which would have given her more of a breathing space to explain how she felt that she was a bit let down there, because we had to delay so long. And yeah, there’s been a lot of changes (physical) which she's even more unhappy with.

They can test what stage of puberty you’re at by either the size of your testicles, by how much pubic hair you produce and a couple of other features and they recommend that she waits until she’s further into puberty before she has the blockers. So, she’s at a stage where it’s relatively frustrating for her, where she’s 13 and almost ready physically to have the blockers, but doesn’t want to miss that opportunity because some people can suddenly move into puberty at an accelerated rate rather than a very steady, gradual process, I think. I think my voice broke one weekend I think, rather than it being a long process as far as I can remember. And I think I probably had facial hair by the time she’s her age. Whereas, she hasn’t got any facial hair and still presents as very feminine.

Well the private GP specialist prescribes the medications. There were two. There’s a testosterone blocker which works on the brain, reduces the production of testosterone. Well, almost completely suppresses the production of testosterone, which stops male puberty. I give her an injection, intramuscular injection every three months. I email the GP specialist, they prescribe it. They send a link to the chemist who sends me a link, three days later it comes in the post. Being an ex-healthcare professional, I have no problem giving my daughter an injection. Most parents wouldn’t have a, wouldn’t, wouldn’t be able to. I understand that completely. And I don’t know what they would do. Perhaps they would find because the GPs are unhappy to do it, because they don’t prescribe it. Why should they give it. If there’s a problem, why should they deal with that problem? So, so I don’t know how other parents would get around, who would do the injection, I really don’t know. For us, it hasn’t been a problem, ‘cos I do it. I used to give injections every day in my career. Every three months we do a blood test to check on the levels of testosterone and oestrogen. She also takes an oestrogen gel now as well to encourage breast development more female shape around the hips. Yeah.

I mean, everyone’s been so on board. I think I just need to make sure I catch up and what, what does it mean for us. How do we support her. What are the side-effects. This is what I really wanna know, the side-effects of these hormones and, and blockers. Putting an awful lot of chemicals and hormones in your body. How can we keep her well. We’ve been talking about doing a lot more meditation and mindfulness with them and really start practising that, that now, because we feel like we’re gonna need it. They’re going to need it, really, really soon. And, yeah, just all the stuff that comes with being a teenager.