Experiences of parents and carers of young trans and gender diverse people

It’d be great if there was more provision. You know, it’s so sparse and I think, from what I understand the services are oversubscribed. There’s huge waiting lists, which means there is a real demand for this kind of service and to have them, you know, and that means we need more practitioners. We need more specialists. We need more understanding. We need more places for young people and their families and carers to go and access it.

When you get referred to GIDS then they should send you information, which they don't do at the moment, they just send you a letter saying you are on the waiting list and how long you are gonna wait. They should send you information about the process, what might happen. And also, they should send you information about support. Support is the most important thing. Support groups, if the healthcare system and the NHS can't provide that themselves, then they should point you in the direction of the support groups that can help you at that stage while you are waiting, cause a lot of people are waiting for a really long time with no support and that's a key time to get the support in place and if GIDS recommend groups, charities like Mermaids then I think that's a way forward to help the parents and the children understand what's gonna be happening and what the next steps are. I do know that some parents have said that they've been to their appointments at GIDS and they've other families in the waiting room who have never heard of Mermaids. I don't think that should be the case at all. They should, if families are getting to that stage where they're going for their first appointment after two years and they're in the waiting room and they haven't even heard of these organisations that can support them, there's something going wrong with the support mechanisms for families.’

One of the things I did feel from the therapy sessions that they didn't raise the problems that my daughter would be likely to encounter in the future. It was very much led by what her concerns were and there was a sort. They did address that you know, if you are not going to pass that you have to accept that. But not, you know, how to deal with that. Maybe some sort of role play sessions for them to, how are you gonna deal with it and how would you diffuse it. How are you going to afterwards deal with your own reactions to it. That, that would have been very beneficial for her. Now, I think they had adolescent sessions that they could attend at the groups during the summer. But again, those were very dominated by the ones who were more confident in themselves, which isn't going to be the answer for my daughter. So, yeah that would have been really constructive for her and quite reassuring that I knew that she knew how to deal with these things.’

Practical help with the sort of clothes and how to dress and how to deal with like facial hair and stuff like that would be helpful. I know the cosmetic stuff (surgery) is no longer available on the NHS. But at least more information about it.

I think the pathway could be clearer. I think, yeah. It would just be good to for it to be quicker. So just getting into it would be quicker. So, actually, even if we were then told, you know, for surgery he would have to wait this long, but we knew that. Then we could consider whether we could afford to you know, do it privately and whether that would be the right thing. But it just feels like we are on hold. So, even if every, even if they can’t say, right, okay, you get an appointment and your journeys gonna start and it’s all gonna be wrapped up beautifully in a package in six months’ time and everyone’s gonna go away happy. That would be lovely, lovely. But if we could just get that initial so you’re in the system and you have some information and the healthcare professional has met your child and spoken to them and they have information and they feel like, you know, they’re moving forward and something’s gonna happen. I think I think that would be good. Obviously, you know, more resource, so that there is a much shorter waiting list would be great. I don’t really, I don’t really subscribe to the view that oh well, you know, it’s a long waiting list, but actually this is a really difficult thing and people might change their minds and da, da, da. Actually, your assessment should work out whether the person is ready for treatment or not. Actually they don’t need 18 months to think about it if actually you do a good assessment and yes, this person has made their mind up. They are absolutely clear this is who they are. This is what they need. It would be great if it would be quicker.

I think yeah, I would, actually. When we were talking about, you know, accessing GIDS for children I really think, I mean, part of the problem with the [Gender Identity Development Service], of course, is that it's, it's only based in a few places. But I think, I think a massive issue is that it's a sort of, it's a psychological and psychiatric service isn't it, [Gender Identity Development Service], it's much wider than just Gender Identity Service and so it comes out of working with young people who have mental health problems. And I really think that that is not where, that is not where GIDS should be located for children. I think there should be another service or several other services where it's paediatricians and it's what do you call the department where they do blockers and all that kind of stuff?

Endocrinology.

Thank you. Yeah, endocrinologists and paediatricians and I think that's where it should be. I think that's where it should be located. I think that's one of the implications of saying that being trans is not a mental health issue. It's not. So why do you have to run the gamut of loads of psychiatrists and psychologists and things when actually what you need is practical support from a paediatrician and an endocrinologist.’