Do you want to tell me more about the, the domestic violence, the experience of that?
Basically it was the, the man that come into our home, I would live with my mum and I was the only child until I was five years old, and my mum met this bloke, and he started coming round, and that was when my mum’s attention went off of me and on to him because she wanted a man’s attention. Over the years he’s still, she’s still married to him now, but he doesn’t live with her they’ve broken up, but they still see each other and stuff. I left home when I was thirteen, he kicked me out and I have been in and out of my house since I was twelve to about the age of fourteen, fifteen. Staying at different friend’s houses, missing a lot of school, drinking and because of how I was brought up around my mum with, she sort of told me you need a man’s love, I’ve started when I was about fourteen I started sleeping with people. Some of them were drunken mistakes, others I just thought they actually cared about me. The bloke that come in the house it started off with just massive arguments where he would get really angry and he would be shouting and my brothers would be crying, because I’ve got three younger brothers.
I used to go upstairs and just cry, and if my mum, it, the argument that him and my mum had would always relate back to me, it would always be my fault and then obviously I used to argue back with him sometimes. It wasn’t necessarily he used to hit me a lot it was the mental abuse he used to give me, he used to, because I was quite a chubby child he used to call me a fat c, u, n, t, all the time, “Dinner’s ready fatty, come and get your food.” And at that point I was, I went on a diet with Slim Fast at about thirteen, I lost a couple of stone, that’s all I was eating and drinking.
When I was fourteen I left home to go and live with my friend in town in a flat, I stayed there for nearly a year, well for about six months to a year, my mum started talking to me again towards the end saying, “You’ve got to come back home, you’re coming back home.” I said, “I don’t want to come back home.” Police got involved, Social Services got involved and they told me, “You’ve got to go back home.” And it got too much for my friend anyway, we were arguing so much because we were with each other every day, so I went back home. When I went back home fit, it did take, my mum was all nice to me, tried to buy me stuff, telling me she missed me, several weeks down the line and it had gone back to how it was, shouting, arguing, everybody screaming, slamming doors, just the chaotic household, that was about it really, just it went back to how it was. Then I left again, for several days, I remember once I’ve got up at four o’clock in the morning, packed my bag while they were sleeping, went out, and went to my friend’s house, I got brought back home by lunchtime by the Police. There were several times I tried to run away from home, and other times I did get told to leave and not come back. The last time I finally left home was that time I said when he had pulled my hair and stuff and I was about, I was fifteen, and I stayed at my friends’ houses, moved around for a couple of weeks, I had finished school, I had been kicked out of school, I had nowhere to go then I was running out of places to go and I didn’t want to go back home, so I went to my auntie’s and I said to her, “Look can I stay here for a couple of weeks until the Council give me somewhere, till I’m sixteen, when I’m sixteen I can get my own place.” So she said, ‘That’s fine’. So several days after my sixteenth birthday I was working as a Hairdresser Apprentice, I kept that up for ten months, so I lived with my auntie from my sixteenth birthday, just before my sixteenth birthday all the way to my seventeenth, just before my seventeenth, it was a year I’ve stayed there, I was working and everything then everything went downhill because I was a typical teenager, I didn’t really respect the house, just left stuff around, and she got to the point where she said, “You’ve got to go.” So that was when I got my Council place, I got that in June last year, I have still got it, that’s where I live now, I still go to my auntie’s at weekends to stay there for company obviously and help and stuff, I’m really close with her. The whole situation like living on my own now, I still don’t feel comfortable living on my step, by myself.